Swan Stories

Scaredy Pants

It is possible to be afraid of everything.

No not trucks, or driving cars, or even a car driving by.

At the library, Evelyn refused to walk to the car because a UPS truck was parked next to it. 

Was the truck being unloaded with a scary UPS worker? Nope.

Was the truck loud and running? Nope.

Did someone honk the horn? Nope.

It was simply sitting there parked.

Other accrued fears: Puddles, flies, slime, animated cute pig (from "Sing"), Santa Claus, Easter Bunny

(July 17, 2018)

Germ lover (& future outcast)

Renee after using the potty.

Renee: "I don't have to wash my hands because I'm growing big and strong."

Cindy: "No, you do, go wash your hands."

Renee: "OK, but when I’m an adult I won't have to wash my hands."

Cindy: "No, me and Daddy wash our hands still to get the germs off."

Ramifications: She may get away with this when she is a grown-up but reap dire consequences by coworkers & bystanders who refuse to dole out high-fives and hand-shaking.  

(July 11, 2018)

God is in control

Logan's shoulders started peeling from an old sunburn.

Renee said: "Your skin is peeling. It's okay, God will make some new skin."

(June 1, 2018)

How to get out of swim lessons

After starting swim lessons, Renee said:

"Mommy, I don't like when they make me jump in the water. I don't like getting my EYES wet."

"Mommy, I’m not a shark. They have gills and breathe underwater...I can't breathe under water."

(March 22, 2018)

Outsmarting the puppet

We have a Big Bird hand puppet and Renee loves having conversations with him.

Big Bird: "Yum, yum, yum. Renee tastes so good."

Renee: "No you can't eat me."

Big Bird: "Why not?"

Renee: "Because there's bones inside of me.”

(March 22, 2018)

Learning about adipose

While visiting Chick Fil A full of people who like lots of burgers, Renee had to go to the bathroom.

While on the potty she said:  "Mommy, when people grow older do they get fat?"

(April 24, 2018)

Imaginary car theft

We were headed to ice cream to celebrate Renee having no accidents. Logan and I had a bit of a freak out moment when my key would not open our door. I tried multiple times and it wouldn't turn at ALL.

In my mind I’m thinking "how am I going to get to my physical therapy tomorrow, and I need to get this figured out before Dallas on Friday!"

I looked up a thing online that included WD40....didn't work.

I called road side assistance and he opened it for me.

I sit down in my car to start it and..... it’s EMPTY. OMG, we've been robbed!!!!! Wait a minute... they even stole our car pads that keep the seats clean? this doesn't make sense. and its way to clean, no shoe stains from the kids.

THIS IS NOT OUR CAR!  I JUST HAD A MAN OPEN A CAR THAT IS NOT OURS.  I jump out and lock it again (undoing the work he just did). He doesn't speak good English so he's a little confused. I explain that our neighbors have a car identical to ours but since it was dark I didn’t notice it had no car seats!

He said this never happened to him before.

(Feb 19, 2018)