Minimalistic grandkids say the darndest things

Praying for the gingerbread man

Cindy: “I walked into the living room to find Evelyn sitting down saying ‘AMEN.’ I asked her what she was praying for.”

Evelyn: "The gingerbread man."

She then proceeded to say "I eat the gingerbread man."

(Feb 4, 2019)



On flight to DC....

Renee pointed to the picture of the lady with the oxygen mask on.

Renee: "Mommy, I want to do that."

Cindy: "No Renee. You don't want that. That means the plane is going to crash."

(Dec 18, 2018)


One feet… big feet

Sarah to Evelyn: “How many feet do I have?”

Evelyn: “BIG feet.”

(Dec 30, 2018)


Figuratively speaking

Chris to Evelyn: “Are you going to grow to be six feet?”

Evelyn: “Yeah.”

Renee: “No, Evelyn only has two feet. See, one, two.”

(Dec 20, 2018)


Time warper

Cindy: I told Renee that we would be visiting Grandmommy and Granddaddy on Thursday.

She got super excited.

She then got grumpy and tired into the tonight, and started crying, saying she wants to go to Dallas today.

I told her "Today is Monday, we will go see Grandmommy and Granddaddy on THURSDAY in three days."

She then said: "No, today is Wednesday. We see them tomorrow"

(Oct 8, 2018)


The battle of the toots

Sibling rivalry can be over significant or insignificant things.

Renee toots, and Evelyn says: "I tooted.”

Renee says: "No Evelyn, I tooted."

Evelyn replies: "No, I tooted."

The battle goes on until Renee starts to cry and get hysterical because it's not Evelyn's toot, but her toot.

Then she brings in the parent. "But Mommy, I tooted, NOT EVELYN."

(Sep 2018)


Two worlds

It was Show & Tell, and the theme was money.

Cindy gave Renee money from a couple of different countries

Renee retorted: "Mommy, I’ve got money from all over the world. And from our world too."

(Sep 20, 2018)


Entomology & botany get mixed up

Renee: "Mommy, can you take the antenna off of my pear?"

Cindy: “Honey, that's STEM.”

(Sep 10, 2018)


Eagles & poop (how to get out of trouble)

After school:

Renee got some poop on her tutu so she had a change of clothes.

When I asked how she got poop on her tutu this was her response:

"The eagle flew into my school and pooped on my tutu. Then my teacher walked in and said ‘EEW’"

(Aug 21, 2018)


Reading makes you healthy

We've read this graphic novel series called Might Jack that Renee really likes. In it they plant a garden that grows super big. The different fruits/peas you pick out give you super powers.

All of a sudden, she is super keen on eating lots of snap peas. She ran up to me today and said she was super strong, fast, and mighty because of her beans.

(Aug 21, 2018)


Gecko chasing (& future herpetologist)

Renee and I were trying to catch a gecko.

It ran into a bush and we couldn’t find him.

She said “it’s OK mommy. He’s camouflaged. Now we can’t see him.”

(Aug 15, 2018)


Naming nails (in an anthropomorphical kind of way)

Sitting on the stairs playing nails that were left over from the construction of our apartment complex…

We named them bendy, two, potatoes, short stuff, tomatoes, white and Thomas.

(Aug 15, 2018)


Scaredy pants

It is possible to be afraid of everything…

No not trucks, or driving cars, or even a car driving by.

At the library, Evelyn refused to walk to the car because a UPS truck was parked next to it.

Was the truck being unloaded with a scary UPS worker? Nope.

Was the truck loud and running? Nope.

Did someone honk the horn? Nope.

It was simply sitting there parked.

Other accrued fears: Puddles, flies, slime, animated cute pig (from "Sing"), Santa Claus, Easter Bunny…
(July 17, 2018)


Germ lover (& future outcast)

Renee after using the potty.

Renee: "I don't have to wash my hands because I'm growing big and strong."

Cindy: "No, you do, go wash your hands."

Renee: "OK, but when I’m an adult I won't have to wash my hands."

Cindy: "No, me and Daddy wash our hands still to get the germs off."

Ramifications: She may get away with this when she is a grown-up but reap dire consequences by coworkers & bystanders who refuse to dole out high-fives and hand-shaking.

(July 11, 2018)


God is in control

Logan's shoulders started peeling from an old sunburn.

Renee said: "Your skin is peeling. It's okay, God will make some new skin."

(June 1, 2018)


How to get out of swim lessons

After starting swim lessons, Renee said:

"Mommy, I don't like when they make me jump in the water. I don't like getting my EYES wet."

"Mommy, I’m not a shark. They have gills and breathe underwater...I can't breathe under water."

(March 22, 2018)


Outsmarting the puppet

We have a Big Bird hand puppet and Renee loves having conversations with him.

Big Bird: "Yum, yum, yum. Renee tastes so good."

Renee: "No you can't eat me."

Big Bird” "Why not?"

Renee: "Because there's bones inside of me.”

(March 22, 2018)


Learning about adipose

While visiting Chick Fil A full of people who like lots of burgers, Renee had to go to the bathroom.

While on the potty she said:  "Mommy, when people grow older do they get fat?"

(April 24, 2018)


Grankids' parents do the darndest things


Imaginary car theft

We were headed to ice cream to celebrate Renee having no accidents. Logan and I had a bit of a freak out moment when my key would not open our door. I tried multiple times and it wouldn't turn at ALL.

In my mind I’m thinking "how am I going to get to my physical therapy tomorrow, and I need to get this figured out before Dallas on Friday!"

I looked up a thing online that included WD40....didn't work.

I called road side assistance and he opened it for me.

I sit down in my car to start it and..... it’s EMPTY. OMG, we've been robbed!!!!! Wait a minute... they even stole our car pads that keep the seats clean? this doesn't make sense. and its way to clean, no shoe stains from the kids.

THIS IS NOT OUR CAR!  I JUST HAD A MAN OPEN A CAR THAT IS NOT OURS.  I jump out and lock it again (undoing the work he just did). He doesn't speak good English so he's a little confused. I explain that our neighbors have a car identical to ours but since it was dark I didn’t notice it had no car seats!

He said this never happened to him before.

(Feb 19, 2018)