Our kids are so minimalistic that their only vice was chocolate cake gluttony on their first birthday!
Our kids are so minimalistic that all they needed was a bathtub and bottle of shampoo to look fashionable!
Our kids are so minimalistic that an oversized stroller was considered excess... and also a hazardous strangulation device!
Our kids are so minimalistic that being the life of the party meant simply a lampshade and box of crayons!
Our kids are so minimalistic that clothing was optional, especially when violence was involved!
Our kids are so minimalistic that superfluous human interaction was just a nuisance, causing uncomfortable face contortions!
Our kids are so minimalistic that pink sun glasses and pig slippers was the fastrak to cooldem!
Our kids are so minimalistic that just a pair of boots, baggy shirt and misfitting hat could transform them into Rambo!
Our kids are so minimalistic that all they needed was two dorky parents to raise them!
Our kids are so minimalistic that delusions of grandeur brought them friends bearing free gifts and lifetime allegiance!
Our kids are so minimalistic that when they learned to walk, they leveraged existing resources to overcome gravity (and blubber)!
Our kids are so minimalistic that to save time, they ignored the excessively burdensome steps ingrained in them by their parents: "clean up your toys or else!"
Our kids are so minimalistic that they didn't need anything (except a side-kick parent) to cry!
Our kids are so minimalistic that a deserted soccer field and two dandelions was all they needed to stay focused!
Our kids are so minimalistic that beds and fluffy pillows were optional when snoozing!
Our kids are so minimalistic that sometimes their only friend was a winged rodent looking more for freebie crumbs than messy-haired kid companionship!
Our kids are so minimalistic that since they never owned a horse, sometimes they got confused between humans and the real deal!
