I’m in tax hell!

I received 3 snail-mail-hell letters from 3 officiously odious tax authorities, all sent by the mafia to take me out with an AK-47 and ninja numchucks!! I frantically emailed my CPA to rescue me from this I-wouldn’t-wish-this-on-my-kids-even-though-they-caused-me-distress-my-entire-parental-life and this-crap-paperwork-is-more-painful-than-climbing-mt-fuji-and-childbirth-combined!

I am dodging the flying bullets and paper cuts as I type this!