All I wanted was to boil some eggs!

Perhaps it's the numerous steps involved, or the inability to focus on something for more than 1.3 seconds, but me and eggs just don't get along!

I woke up in the morning and felt overly ambitious, so thought I'd boil some eggs. Half a carton in the pan and 25 minutes later, I smelled some weird sulfur smell that was strange to me because I don't have a barbecue pit nor do I live in a sewer. As I approached the kitchen, which I try to avoid at all costs, I found a surprisingly elegant display of ziggedly lines and swirls that were perhaps caused by water being boiled into oblivion! (This is what it is like to have ADD!)

I went to the store and bought a giant shiny pan, in hopes of concocting large quantities of food to escape the daily torture of cooking. I threw in a dozen eggs and stirred like a seasoned Suzy Homemaker. Five minutes later after transport from the pan, I looked inside and found colorful forever-embedded residue... caused by frying food in a contraption meant only for steaming. This is what it is like to have ADD!

Something always seems to happen between the grocery store and the kitchen!

I’ve been poisoned!

Today I went to Panera & realized that there was something very strange about this poison-free coffee shop.










How I paid $92 for a cup of coffee!

Last time I wrote about my $10 coffee but I’m starting to think my cost is much higher!

Today I drove to the coffee shop to pay a pretty penny for a “simple” cup of coffee.

Step 1: Put over-priced California gas in car. Price: too much!

Step 2: Drive down congested Los Angeles highway dodging moronic maniacs. Price: 2 years off my life dealing with idiots!

Step 3: Pull into parking lot and pay $3 parking fee (on a freakin’ weekend!). Price: $3 too much!

Step 4: Enter coffee shop and stand in line waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too long! Price: 2 more years off my life!

Step 5: Order coffee using my $30 travel mug I bought at Target. Price: $30 too much! (because stingy coffee shop rarely gives me travel mug discount!)

Step 6: Sit down with caustic cup of coffee: Price: 5 more years off my life (because it’s poisonous bean water)!