Minimalistic kids!

Our kids are so minimalistic that their only vice was chocolate cake gluttony on their first birthday!

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Our kids are so minimalistic that all they needed was a bathtub and bottle of shampoo to look fashionable!

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Our kids are so minimalistic that an oversized stroller was considered excess... and also a hazardous strangulation device!

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Our kids are so minimalistic that being the life of the party meant simply a lampshade and box of crayons!

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Our kids are so minimalistic that clothing was optional, especially when violence was involved!

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Our kids are so minimalistic that superfluous human interaction was just a nuisance, causing uncomfortable face contortions!

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Our kids are so minimalistic that pink sun glasses and pig slippers was the fastrak to cooldem!

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Our kids are so minimalistic that just a pair of boots, baggy shirt and misfitting hat could transform them into Rambo!

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Our kids are so minimalistic that all they needed was two dorky parents to raise them!

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Our kids are so minimalistic that delusions of grandeur brought them friends bearing free gifts and lifetime allegiance!

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Our kids are so minimalistic that when they learned to walk, they leveraged existing resources to overcome gravity (and blubber)!

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Our kids are so minimalistic that to save time, they ignored the excessively burdensome steps ingrained in them by their parents: "clean up your toys or else!"

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Our kids are so minimalistic that they didn't need anything (except a side-kick parent) to cry!

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Our kids are so minimalistic that a deserted soccer field and two dandelions was all they needed to stay focused!

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Our kids are so minimalistic that beds and fluffy pillows were optional when snoozing!

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Our kids are so minimalistic that sometimes their only friend was a winged rodent looking more for freebie crumbs than messy-haired kid companionship!

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Our kids are so minimalistic that since they never owned a horse, sometimes they got confused between humans and the real deal!

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